I am not one for surprises. They have always freaked me out. I like to know what is happening at all times. You might say I am a fan of control. Yes, I admit it. I can sometimes be a control freak. I didn’t really know the extent of this until I met Aaron. Being in a good relationship, when all you have ever known is bad, can be really awakening, hard, scary, and absolutely beautiful. I had for some time hidden myself from love. I thought I was just better off alone. Control and I had it all figured out. Or so I thought.

This is one of my all time favorite quotes: “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Well shoot. I was condemning myself to some sort of hell. Believe me, I was starting to feel it. I am pretty sure Aaron came into my life at the right moment. I have known this very talented man for seven months now. I feel so blessed. He is my best friend and I can honestly say I am a better person because of him.

I have never in my life received a gift like this. On Christmas morning Aaron came over to my house with a gift for my beautiful daughter. After He gave her the gift he turns to me and hands me a piece of paper. As I am reading it he walks outside to get something. I knew we had an understanding about no gifts. My control and I were very confused. The letter read: “If there is ever a season in life you walk through feeling unloved and insignificant, may you remember that someone once composed a love song for you. A song, not only celebrating the beautiful woman that you are, but expressing sincere gratitude for helping him come out of season in life where he felt unloved and insignificant. Your gracious ways have truly inspired me.” What the heck! No way! Yep, I look up and there he is standing with a guitar about to play the most unbelievable words about… ME! It is hard for me to take compliments. I still listen to this song with disbelief. I considered not even sharing it, but I also believe that when someone writes a song about you, you should share it. So here it is, How Sweet The Path, written by the most beautiful man in the world, Aaron Lee Matin:

Insert sobbing, ugly crying, blowing nose sounds here_________. I was a mess. What a surprise. A good surprise. Sometimes life is not always in your control. It can throw you some curve balls. It can be hard, scary, and a little messy to open up your world to someone.
“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid.
In the end I have to accept these moments of pure love are worth it. I will take it. I will take it all. The unexpected, keep you on your feet kind of life with someone. It sure beats the hell I was creating on my own. Let me rephrase. It’s the best thing I could have ever asked for. I believe accepting surprises is what life is all about. Really, what is life without a little fear and excitement? I guess it’s a little safe; it’s a little bit of hell. Where is the joy in that? I choose to live. Thank you Aaron for allowing me to open my heart to you, and for opening your heart to me. You are worth it.

Few pictures. I mean, this is a photo blog right?